Zimbly Cars » driving

Vodafone India Promotion: Ride with Lewis Hamilton

admin — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 13:24:48 +0000

Vodafone India is running a promotional campaign/contest for its subscribers to win a chance to ride with Lewis Hamilton in Chennai on September 17th.

There are two ways of participating either through an SMS contest or through an online game. What are you waiting for – go check it out.

More details here: http://www.vodafone.in/vmm/pages/hotlaps.aspx

A Chennai “Swift Record of Records” Experience

Sushil — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 17:29:18 +0000

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The Pre-Experience:

I signed up for the Swift “Record of Records” event the day it was announced on the net. I even sent the links to people I know who owned Swifts. I was biting my nails waiting to find out the location and the timing to make sure I wouldn’t miss it because of other commitments. I was happy to find it was for Sunday morning at a time when I was sure I could make it. I got my Father also interested to come. I was very happy to get the courier on Saturday afternoon with the details of the venue and the time. No mention of needing to reach at a specific time and no mention of what is to be done there. I felt the listing of goodies to be given was probably not required. I would have gone there without the goodies as well. Also wished more details of the actual record were mentioned.

The Start:

We started out at 6.45 sharp – I get my habit of being punctual from my father and both of us were bathed and dressed by 6.30. Car was fueled up the previous evening itself and tire air pressure checked as well. We decided to take the Poonamalee High road to NH7 and as soon as we neared the Koyambedu junction we started noticing Swifts which we felt were on their way to the event. One orange car had a really nice body kit, 17 inch alloys, graphics with angel eyes headlamps, free-flow exhaust and multiple spoilers. Others had just graphics while others had alloys. The orange car with the body kit was driving at a moderate pace and driving carefully. There were a lot of swifts that darted between traffic like they were in a big rush to reach MMSC(Madras Motor Sports Club) track. Time was not even 7.10 AM. A red swift with 4 youngsters with angel eye headlamps and alloys was in a big rush. Strangely I was in a good mood and let all the “racers” go ahead. I was doing a sedate 70-80 when compared to everyone else.

On reaching:

We reached MMSC by around 7.30 ( there were uniformed guards outside the entrance guiding cars in) and found ourselves to be car #127 based on the number suck on the top right corner of the windshield by some guys in White t-shirts with Swift written on it. Wow 126 people beat us to Sriperumbudur. We saw two long rows of cars parked in the parking lot/field. We parked where we were told by the white t-shirts. A steady flow of cars were coming in. After we parked – there was no one to tell us what to do or where to go. We see people walk to an asbestos shed and followed them. We see breakfast buffet is available there. If we had known we would have come here and eaten – sparing my mother the hassle of getting breakfast ready before 6.30. Still ok – we have some coffee and wait – no place to sit – just stand. No one seems to be in charge and no one seems to have an idea of what happens next. I assume we have to just wait around. Suddenly there is an announcement to all vehicle owners with numbers less than 200 to be near their cars. We foot it back to the car – a good 300- 400 meters back. It is bright and sunny at 8 and already I am sweating like an animal. I was expecting further announcements but there were none.

Waiting:

We wait near the car for a bit and don’t know what to expect. We see some cars parked in a line waiting to be let on the track. Since there was no one to guide the participants – people started getting in their cars and getting in line behind the initial line of cars. The event management team is nowhere to be seen – only some people doing the initial number writing and asking people to park in the parking lot. Cars started creating new lines in addition to the initial line. Few white t-shirts suddenly turn up and try to merge 5 lanes of cars into one going to the track. They are calling up each other on mobiles – very clear that they themselves were not sure what to do.

Finally we start moving towards the track on a small approach road that could accommodate one vehicle at a time. It took so much time that my father had time to go to the rest room and come back and I had moved only a few feet. There were some boys with rags and cleaning solution wiping windshields of cars heading to the track.

Some balloons were tied to the wipers but they started bursting soon with the heat. A lot of cars were seen stacked 4 wide on the track. The JK Tyre folks were the first ones walking around giving service discount coupons while we were waiting to get to the track on the service road leading from the entrance to the track.

We finally were allowed to get on the track and park. People had no idea how long it would take and what we were waiting for. This was probably around 8.40 something. Didn’t feel like getting out of the car either so sat for a while. Then noticed white swift t-shirt wearing people walking around handing out large envelopes to each car. We get one too and find they are stickers for the car. We also get some forms to fill for using the track and allowing Maruti/MMSC and everyone else from being held responsible for anything that could happen on track. There are other things to fill which will get us a fuel card and amusement park tickets. A sheet of instructions was also given. A small Adidas red and black bag with Maruti Swift on it was also given. The bag had a lot of the goodies like a t-shirt( unfortunately M size – I have to wait for my son to grow up to probably 14/15 – no one else at my home will fit into it), cap, JK Tyres tubeless tire repair kit, couple of key chains, towel, pens, tissues. Wow so far so good.

We sweat and sit for at-least an hour while stickers are put on the cars. I had brought my camera with me and took photos whenever I could. Unfortunately while taking the photos I didn’t notice the “www.swift-life.com” sticker was being put off center at the front of the car. It was too late when I noticed. The huge white “SWIFT” sticker on the roof was nice but didn’t account for the curve of the roof and ended up being put in a way that is slightly off in alignment. Before I know it JK Tyre & Suryan FM stickers were also on the car. All this stickering work could have been avoided and instead spent on a good briefing for the participants regarding the event.

There was music playing loudly on the track and a lot of stalls with games seemed to be there. However since there was no announcement as to what the plan was – most people were in or around their cars. Only a few people/children went and played. I managed go get a bottle of water and bottle of Nimbooz – we had brought 2 bottles of water but they were already getting warm in the heat. I took photos of the car all decked out with stickers. Small thought goes through my mind wondering how difficult it would be to get rid of the stickers and the gum that gets left behind. I read the list of instructions given regarding the parade and find that the speed limit should be kept around 20 kmph and max gear to be 3rd. No overtaking no honking, no listening to music, no taking photos and no drinking, seat belts to be worn at all times. I was impressed by the rules. Didn’t think for a moment about if people would observe these rules.

Finally past 10 we see the start of the parade move. Still no announcements – I manage to get a photo of the starting set of cars and then rush into my car. Some people have left their cars and are at the stalls and do not know the parade has started. So it takes time for all to start moving. I get to a place where there is a video camera mounted on a huge swing arm that’s being moved all over taking photos of the participants.

The Parade Starts:

I see the lady from Guinness talking to a couple of guys who seemed to be the organizers. 4 lanes of cars were being merged into 2 lanes at the exits from the pits. I manage to shoot some more photos before handing the camera to my father to take some photos while I start to drive. We hear snatches of instructions while we drive past the starting point – mainly hear instructions about keeping the driver side window open for hearing instructions. I dutifully open the window – AC becomes pointless now so open both front windows and have the blower going on.

One old dude with a funny mop like haircut feels he has to honk when the cars start moving and he keeps repeating the honking at intervals.

We notice there is one guy on a bike before the first corner to the side of the road doing nothing and around C3 there is one more guy on a bike and another on foot who are half heartedly yelling out to cars that they shouldn’t stop but to keep moving. They do not look past where they stand where we have to slow down to a stop since the cars in front are not moving and we can see the cars all the way from between C3-C4 all the way to C8. We can see that those cars are not moving – there is no way we can move without breaking formation. We don’t move out of formation but inch along when the vehicles in front move ahead. The people who we saw yelling out don’t stop were the last ones for the entire track – we didn’t see anyone else anywhere on the track.

Chaos Theory:

Till around C4 (4^th corner) two rows of vehicles were moving beautifully maintaining speed and keeping distance. However as soon as we near the farthest end of the track from the pavilion we suddenly notice a couple of cars zoom through the middle of the two rows of vehicles and soon enough behind it others started following. These were definitely not maintaining speed, not maintaining formation nor driving carefully. All had their windows up as well. Most didn’t have stickers applied or had numbers higher than 500.

The order began to turn into disorder at that point .People broke all formation and generally went for it zooming and racing all over the track. I kept going at 20 for a bit then had to speed up to 30 to make sure I was not going to get hit by other vehicles. I didn’t go faster than that. Little past C10 we notice vehicles slow down quickly and come to a halt. I do so as well and creep towards C11. There are 4 lanes at this point on the track and two sets of drivers driving on the grass/mud on both the sides of the track. We stop at this point for quite a while without making any progress.

Finally we reach a place past C11 where we can see C12 and the start of the track. Nothing is moving and we cannot tell why. Suddenly we see the vehicle start moving and more rush past us on the track and off the track as well. At the starting point we are made to keep going with no instructions whatsoever. We pass C1,C2 and again the madness repeats. This time I felt it was worse since people were speeding much more than the first time. I stuck to the rightmost edge of the track and kept going hoping I wouldn’t get hit. I saw a couple of cars smack into each other – didn’t get to see how bad the damage was since I was too busy making sure I wasn’t going to get hit.

I had a very narrow miss when a Azure Grey Swift cut across my front leaving less than a meter to spare – he didn’t even notice my car while he cut across a corner ( I think it was C10) diagonally.

There was a bit when we were stopped near C11 where it was too far to walk to the start where all the people in the cars there had no idea what was going on at the start which was preventing the movement of vehicles. People that heard the briefing about the windows being kept open had the windows open for quite a while but the heat at around 11 AM made it hard to sit without the AC and without any shade. Soon people were out of the cars and walking around outside. Still smart alecs were driving off the tracks – wheels spinning and throwing up clouds of dust trying to get to the starting point – narrowly missing the people walking outside their cars.

Initially I thought we were at a position somewhere near the first quarter of the length of the parade but by the end of the second lap I realized I was in the last 2 quarters since most had overtaken us. By around 12.15 we were in the last quarter of the line.

We waited in the car for long time and couldn’t see any movement of the vehicles near the starting arch exiting the track. Some enterprising people moved aside the asbestos sheets and drove on the grass towards the pit lane since they got tired of waiting for the cars to move. Soon I realize there are very few cars behind me. I also notice an exit gate has been opened that leads to the entrance and to the highway and people are leaving that way. I even saw an I10 come in through that gate.

The End:

We saw some people (official looking types – not sure if they were from Maruti or from MMSC) walk from the starting arch towards the side gate and while they walked past they said you can leave this way – take a u-turn and leave. Some people including myself decided enough was enough and we backed up a bit , did a u-turn and drove off the track to the side gate. Strangely the people were giving out the fuel card and amusement park coupons there at the exit. Nothing was being collected from the cars (none of the cards we had filled were collected). I grabbed what they were handing out and started off to the highway. Since it was already 12:45 we decided to stop for lunch at the hotel past Queensland and then head home. Finally reached home a bit before 3 PM.

In Hindsight Notes & thoughts of what could have been done better:

Who was responsible for the event ? Sponsorships are fine but there has to be one party owning such events and being responsible for them start to finish. No one dared own up for the fiasco – no one was to be seen managing or coordinating things.
Gaps in communication:
- The initial details about the event gave a time saying 8.30-11.30. Mistake one – this communication could have the detailed agenda mentioned to ensure people showed up on time.
- A briefing of the volunteers should have been done. Also for 500+ participants probably at-least 2 volunteers for every fifty cars was required.
- A briefing of all the drivers was required at the start. People who didn’t make it on time and didn’t get the briefing should not have been let on the track. Just the knowledge of what the rules of the event were and the fact that violation of the rules would result in the whole event not qualifying should have been mentioned. There should have been explicit instructions on “No Racing”. If there was a problem with briefing all participants at the same time– it could be done in batches of 50 each.
- Most people who showed up (myself included) didn’t realize the record being attempted was the parade record and not the largest number per se that showed up. The sheet with instructions indicated they had planned for a max of 500 odd vehicles – but seeing what happened I feel even with half/quarter the number the organizers would be stumped.
- Suryan FM one of the sponsors of the event could have made use of their FM channel by relaying instructions live over the air – this would have ensured all vehicles were synched up on instruction without any gaps. They instead were playing random music /some interviews of people at the event – I felt it was interviews of people still waiting to get on track.
A pace car/cars were required and volunteers should have been placed all around the track. Yes it was hot and would have been torture to stand in the sun but that’s nothing a good umbrella and sunglasses couldn’t remedy.
No signs of any ambulance or medical assistance /emergency breakdown/tow vehicle. There were breakdowns we heard and people somehow managed to set things right on their own. I would be surprised if no one required some sort of medical assistance during the event. On a minimum there should have a doctor and ambulance on hand for any emergencies – people should also know what to do if there was an emergency of any sort – medical or mechanical.
There was absolutely no police presence!!! Whenever there are large crowds gathering – it definitely makes a difference to have police presence. Of course this is on private property – but it is a public event – a request to the police and they would be there in full force. This could have prevented ugly fights from breaking out and also prevented petty theft from happening as well. I saw some youngsters break the binds on the stacks of tires near C11 and load up their car with at least 2 tires. What they can do with old tires is not sure – but they still stole it. I couldn’t see their car so don’t have the number plate.
The stickering work done all around the car could have been avoided – saved the expenses and spent it on communication of details of the event and probably saved hours of time.
Coupons for the petrol/diesel & amusement park could have been given at the beginning / it could have been communicated that coupons would be mailed to people if there was a delay.
There didn’t seem to be any media coverage of the event by mainstream media? Why? Finally the only mention in major papers was abou the Gurgaon event.

All in all I wish it had been managed better and that the crowd had also behaved better. We could have been part of a Guinness World Record – but I guess that was not meant to happen.

My Driving Resolutions for 2010

admin — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 01:41:37 +0000

I usually do not make New Year resolutions. However this year I wanted to do things a bit differently and spent some thought on what I would try to follow as my driving resolutions for the year. Here they are:

To follow rules of the road & maintain speed limits
To use indicators while changing lanes always
To check all directions before turning /changing lanes
To allow every “horny” and “flashy” driver behind to pass me when safe to do so
To not take it personally when cut off by rude drivers/bikers etc.
To drive defensively by staying alert, calm and composed on the road
To use the horn only when absolutely necessary ( reducing this has reduced my stress and made me a more careful driver)
To stretch every drop of fuel as much as possible – for our future generations
To limiting taking off from signals to once in a long while
To take public transport/company bus whenerver possible

Wish you all a great New Year and years to come – filled with the best of affordable vehicles, good roads, well behaved traffic and low fuel prices !

It sounds too good to be true – but just takes one person at a time to follow the rules and make the roads better - that one person is you ! What are your new year resolutions ? Please let us know through comments.

10 Sure Ways to Cause Road Rage in India

Sushil — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 15:19:15 +0000

: Image via Wikipedia

This list of pet peeves are for me - when encountered are sure to make me loose my cool on the road:

Incessant honking – a butterfly flaps his wings – a honk, the signal is red – honk, traffic is moving honk – for everything !
Flashing headlamps – demanding everyone move aside finally when given space/there is space overtakes and then pulls to a halt at the side! If you want to pull to the side you do not have to race several vehicles to do so. An indicator is all that is required.
Repeated attempts to overtake when there is no place to do so safely(single lane roads).
Changing lanes/weaving in and out of traffic.
Vehicles that do not seem to know the concept of lanes and usually drive using 2 lanes.
Vehicles needing to turn, taking up several lanes and chocking entire flow of traffic in all directions. Also bikers/other vehicles who need to go straight who will cut in front of those turning at a corner risking an accident to do so.
Vehicles that follow without leaving a safe distance. They cannot possibly stop in time if vehicles in front have to stop suddenly. They will hit the vehicle in front then angrily accuse them of having ‘stopped suddenly’ !
People driving (some times expensive sometime cheapo) vehicles that they didn’t put in their own blood sweat and tears to buy. Usually gifted/loaned/entrusted by their parents/employer who can afford it but cannot afford the time to teach them how to drive carefully and respecting other road users. TN07AQ1665 was an example for this a silver Skoda Octavia rashly driven by a chap with a cap could be a driver on GST near the Airport .
People talking on mobiles without using a hands free. One idiot middle aged male in an Orange Indica who almost hit me didn’t have the grace to say sorry – I later saw he was both smoking and talking on his cell phone without a handsfree. If you know him TN07AT6004 please teach him some road sense and tell him Orange doesnt suit an Indica – it still sucks!
People driving on the wrong side of the central road lines/driving in the wrong direction into traffic to ‘save’ a few minutes. Almost all bikers I have seen do this. I even saw a Tata Sumo cab yellow board cut through the divider plastic thingys and happily overtake on the new big flyover on Usman road near Panagal Park. Number plate unfortunately I forgot in my shock.

**Bikers who loosen stones of ‘piled stone’ dividers to beat traffic jams deserve special mention since they do this, speed away on the other side of the road leaving the bricks/rocks on the road for several other crashes to happen later at night**

All the above listed deserve the foulest and worst local curses known to man to be heaped on their heads. Hope they reach their final destination sooner and not annoy driving enthusiasts again

Well this is the list guaranteed to boil and cook my goat. What are your top annoyances ?

10 Tips for Child Car Safety

Sushil — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 19:16:09 +0000

: Image by Pink Sherbet Photography via Flickr

I usually park my car in such a way that I have to back the car into the spot. Every time I do so, I worry that someone from my family will be behind the car and I may hit them by mistake. This fear has grown ever since my son started walking a couple of months ago.

I saw this on the net: Miracle Baby Pinned Under SUV Survives Unharmed. I proceed to freak out even more. The story referenced a website called: http://kidsandcars.org/ which seems to be a site collecting and maintaining statistics of children injured/killed in accidents involving automobiles. Their statistics reveal that of all fatalities involving children from 2002 – 2007 the top 3 reasons were:

44% were due to “back overs” (backing up over a child)
17% was due to “front overs” (opposite of back over)
16% due to Hyperthermia.

Having freaked myself out enough – I started to worry that since this is not tracked well in the US which usually has statistics of everything, the statistics in India would be very different. I do not even want to think of it since it will be more gruesome than the US statistics. Rather than think about that I thought maybe I should put together some tips for parents / drivers.

Tips for vehicle drivers with little children around:

Check for small children hiding/playing immediately in front of , behind or under the car before starting. Always!
Secure children inside the car in child seats or have adults who are secured with a seat-belt hold the child (India specific – since the usage of car seats is minimal). Child car seats are best kept in the rear seat away from airbags if present in the car. When held by an adult make sure their heads are away from window panes since bumps on the roads could cause their heads to hit the glass. If asleep they should either be held by an adult -not left on the seat alone.
Children should never be allowed to stand inside(in the middle of the seats etc.) a moving vehicle since sudden stops could cause them to fall.
Children should not be allowed to sit/lie down in the luggage area of hatchbacks or SUVs where there are no proper seats.
Never leave children in vehicles alone. Parental supervision is a must. Doesn’t matter if it is hot or cold or whatever in between. (Recently a car was stolen from near the Chennai airport with 2 children in it – thief lead police on a chase until he was finally stopped.)
Enable the power window locks and child locks on the doors to ensure that children cannot open the doors/windows unless under adult supervision. If the windows are to be kept open (no A/c or non-working a/c) make sure the children’s hands and feet are always in the car and never outside.
Keep enough toys/food/water in the car and always have an adult to keep them entertained and busy to prevent them from crying/distracting the driver thereby causing an accident.
Check for little hands and feet when opening/closing doors/windows/trunks/bonnets/tailgates etc. Applies when sliding/folding seats/gloveboxes/cigarette lighters as well.
Do notallow children who are not old enough to drive a vehicle.
Drive carefully, within speed limits, follow all rules, be courteous to other motorists and set a good example to the young impressionable minds in the car.

Request: Dear readers – have I missed any key tips ? Please doadd more tips through the comments – I need your help to build this list up. Please do share these tips with parents of small children who may find it useful as well.

An Indica Experience of ~ 9 years & 1,25,000 Km

Sushil — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 01:43:10 +0000

This post is written by one of the readers of this blog Jacob Chacko who on request shared the ownership experience of his Tata Indica (he owned and drove it for around 9 years clocking around 1,25,000 km in the duration selling it this past Friday). Thanks Jacob Chacko for sharing your experience with the Indica! Here is his story with photos of his car:

After 11 years on a petrol Ambassador, I had begun to feel weary of driving with such a heavy steering wheel (perhaps, because I was also growing in age), that I started looking for a new Car. India’s dream car, TATA Indica had been launched just about a year ago. The euphoria that peaked with margins for new Indicas had died down and teething troubles had taken over. Since I was contemplating a change from an Ambassador, my priorities were adequate space (for my parents), ease of ingress and egress, driveability and good fuel efficiency. I needed to run 1000- 1500 km a month and a diesel alternative to my ambassador had become rather imperative.

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The TATA tagline was quite impressive : “The space of an Ambassador with the efficiency of a Zen at the price of a Maruti-800 !” This description vastly suited my requirements. I did a TD to verify facts. The space indeed was fine. The diesel engine did not sound all that bad – certainly not the roar of (shipping) diesel engines that were doing duty on some Ambassadors. The only competitor was the Fiat Uno, in which efficiency and build were reported to be superior. But, then TATA was coming up with a passenger car for the very first time. Who wouldn’t give them a try, especially in the context of the near-repulsive service from Uno’s then dealers, TVS ? The decision in favour of Indica was rendered easy by a comparative feature that appeared in one of the auto magazines, which gave the verdict, something to this effect : Despite, all that, the scales can be seen ticking the Indica way with the claimed superior fuel efficiency at much lower vehicle costs. The local TATA dealership took personal interest, offered freebies and supervised the delivery of an Emerald Green (no semblance to green ; more to grey, though !) Indica in November 2000.

I remember I was ecstatic all through the running-in period : it had already fetched me a fuel efficiency of 17 kmpl ! And, I did like the soft sound of the new diesel engine.

Problems It was smooth riding until around 37000 km when trouble surfaced with the car showing excessive oil consumption. Besides oil changes specified at service schedules, I had to keep topping-up every now and then. I had maintained my own diary on the mileage and the oil consumed. I started writing letters to TATA management, with little reprieve.

This went on until the vehicle clocked about 70000 km. Meanwhile, confronted with my repeated visits to the TASC with the very same complaint of excessive oil consumption and allied effects of excessive smoke on initial starting etc., the service advisors privately hinted that engine overhauling was the only way out. They narrated several instances of similar occurrences and how, after engine overhauling, such vehicles were rendered out of the clutches of this malady.

After repeated complaints to TATA management, the TASC was instructed to conduct a HOC Test (High Oil Consumption Test). All oil was drained out of the sump, weighed and poured back before it was driven by TATA (me seated alongside) for 300 km at a stretch. The residual oil was again drained and weighed.

Oil consumption was calculated as : Weight of oil x 1000 / 0.88 x Km run.

In my case, for 299 km, the difference in weight of oil was observed to be 125.2 g.

Thus, 125.2 X 1000 / 0.88 X 299 = 475.83 ml / km

TATA explained that 500 ml / km was the maximum permissible limit for Oil consumption (but, I was not shown any documentation to attest this claim) and that, therefore, this value was indeed within limits ! The fact that the value was almost at the max. of the permissible limit was not a matter of concern to them. Even so, it was clear that at as low a mileage as < 70000 km, the car was already nearing the upper limit of “permissible” oil consumption. The import of the idiom, “You can take a horse to water, but cannot make it drink,” dawned upon me with full force.

My last resort was to address none other than Mr Ratan Tata himself. If this excessive oil consumption were not to be attributed to flaws in manufacture and / or in strict quality control, were Indica cars expected to undergo engine overhauling at mileages as low as 70000 km. His office replied that Mr Tata was on tour and that the matter would be attended to by others. This question, finally, fetched me some minor discounts by way of piston rings and accessories for carrying out engine overhauling at < 70000 km !

TATA ought to be more receptive to customer feedback / complaints and should demonstrate the resolve to redress genuine grievances to mutual satisfaction. For those like me who were prepared to accept the new Indian venture with all its teething troubles, TATA - through their actions, rather inaction – seemed to prove the point that they cared a hoot for us ! They ought to display the readiness, leave alone the grace, to acknowledge deficiencies / faults.

Visits to TASC (Focuz Motors)

This car has been with me for 104 months now and has clocked 125000+ km. I have strictly adhered to TATA recommendations on service schedules and have maintained it with utmost care. In all, I have had to make 49 visits to the TASC, of which 23 were for regular service check-ups at specified intervals. In all fairness, I must compliment the service personnel at the TASC (Benz Motors, later renamed as Focuz Motors) for being receptive, considerate and helpful. I might well be one among their long-standing customers.

Other issues / repairs

After overhauling of the engine, there has not been any complaint of excessive oil consumption or the like. Other issues have been the following :

Clutch plate replacement at ~ 70000 km (done along with engine-overhauling)
Glow plugs were the most problematic, requiring 8 replacements
Steering rack and pinion assy was replaced at ~ 95000 km
Wheel cylinders replaced 6 times
Ball joints replaced 8 times
AC bearing, compressor repairs effected at ~ 87000 km

Summary
Despite all these troubles, this Indica of mine has never let me down on the road. Fuel efficiency was an average of 16-18 km/ litre within the city (with AC) amidst Cochin’s notorious traffic snarls and between 20 -22 km on the highways (with AC). It has even peaked to 24 km / litre at times.

The first battery had a remarkable life of 68 months !

I have bills, vouchers and accounts of every expense incurred at TASC all through the past ~ 9 years and ~ 125000 km. Costs for maintenance (includes spares, lubes, consumables, servicing, labour and taxes, but excludes tyres, battery and fuel) of this vehicle have worked out to an average of ~ 80 ps per km.

My Next Car – Not a TATA:

The new version — Indica Vista is generous on space and tempting in appeal. User reviews that sing praises (for sure, they have the right to do so) to the vehicle are all written based on the early few thousand km experience. Problems crop up only after the vehicle has run ~ 15000 km. All across the web, I have come across only a single review from an owner who had used his Vista Quadrajet for ~ 16000 km and that review was indeed daunting. I wouldn’t want to risk a repeat of the snags I faced - all of which could be traced to manufacturing defects arising out of severe deficiencies in strict quality control at every stage, including that at the site of the vendors that supply spares to TATA cars. After all, isn’t experience the best teacher ?

TATA badly needs to reorient their functional priorities to be sensitive to the needs and perceptions of the customer, if ever they intend to befriend and build lasting relationships with him. The Indica Club, launched by TATA with much fanfare, appeared to have met with a premature death; TATA did not seem to be bothered even by this.

Therefore, sadly though, I have decided to trade off my Indica for another brand from a different manufacturer, keeping my fingers crossed on what might yet lie in store for me now !

PS: Please do reach out to Jacob through the comments here on this post in case you need any tips or advice on Indica’s. Am hoping to get an update on his experience with a new brand of vehicle after his move from Tata.

Hyundai I10 Automatic – Short Test Drive

Sushil — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 18:43:42 +0000

One of my colleagues at work mentioned a problem he was having. He had one car (Wagon-R) and was trying to teach his wife how to drive. For days he and his wife would venture out early in the morning for his wife to attempt getting familiar with the car, the gears, the roads, pedestrians, two wheelers and also slopes of flyovers and railway underpasses. To top it all they stay in a place called Choolaimedu which has one long really really crowded narrow lane permanently full of all types and modes of transport. Very little progress was happening from the aspect of the wife learning driving.

Finally they test drove a semi-automatic with the contraption called an “auto clutch” which gets fitted to a regular manual car. I remembered some ownership reports of the same and pointed them to it and they decided not to attempt getting it. They ventured back to the driving sessions but without much interest. Somewhere along the way when I was asked about the auto clutch I had told my colleague about the Hyundai I10 automatic which now replaces the original cheapest Hatchback from Hyundai – the Santro. He and his wife test drove the I10 and felt their needs would be met by it and decided to buy it. They got it for 4.85 lakhs on road with some corporate discounts and some offer. I got to see the car one evening last week. .

Outside:The exteriors look like any other I10 – just a small badge at the left rear stating ‘Auto’ shows something different. The car color was Electric Red. The pull type door handles worked well and the door was light easy to open. Felt very similar to a Santro. I don’t care too much for the front of the car but can live with the looks of the car from the sides and the rear. The rear roof spoiler accessory makes the car look much better. So will wider tires, nice alloys and dark tints.

Inside: The interior was beige mostly except for a dark brown section on the dashboard which seemed to have no reason to be there and looked very weird.Front fog lamps not present and neither were the rear wash wipe and demister. I sat in the passenger seat initially while my colleague got the car out of the parking lot and onto the road. The engine sound was almost nil inside the cabin and the transmission didn’t have any weird jerks while shifting. He didn’t have any trouble maneuvering the car from the basement through streams of people walking around. We finally got to an empty stretch of road and I was offered a chance to TD, I had initially refused but didn’t want to pass this opportunity so I got into the driver seat.

The seating position was good and very “Santroish” with good visibility all around including from both outside mirrors which were just the right size and in the right place. The gear knob had a silver finish piece on top and felt just the right size to hold and also had the button to lock the gear in place when not pressed.

Drive: I pressed the brake down, started the engine and moved from Park into ‘D’ for Drive. When I lifted my leg off the brake the car gently started moving without any jerks. To pick up pace one has to gently push the accelerator and the car does respond. Of course not with the urgency of a manual but decent enough.

I didn’t want to push this new car much but before I knew it it was touching 60 KMPH ! No harshness from the engine nor any significant increase in sound. I could feel the automatic transmission shift up through the gears – but only since I was keenly expecting it and listening for it. Making a ‘U’ turn at a break in the median was really nice, just stop wait and when a good sized gap appears in oncoming traffic just ease into it by pressing the accelerator. No attention required to shift gears up and both hands are free to manage the turning of the wheel.

The stretch of road I drove the car on was mostly well paved so didn’t hit any potholes with the car. The only rough stretches that were there we covered with great care since this was an brand new car without even its number plates. It had decent enough clearance for normal bumps and speed breakers without any issue.

Slowing down also was easy enough just press down on the brakes accordingly and the transmission moves down accordingly. I didn’t get to test panic braking but wish this car came with ABS as it would be good to have.

No tachometer on the version I drove (Magna trim) was the only negative I could think of… But again it is not really required for an automatic where the transmission will shift up a gear before things get too hot.

Overall I think it is a good car.It felt much better to drive than the last automatic I had driven ( a Santro automatic). I have driven an automatic Honda Civic for a couple of years – this one comes nowhere near that car – but for India and the space and traffic that exists here – it is definitely sized right. The pricing as always I wish it could have been cheaper as it makes a lot of sense to get an automatic in crowded cities.

Ownership Experience:Since I took my time writing this up I got to hear of the ownership experience one week past purchase. The views of the two drivers of the car echo the differing expectations men and women have of the vehicles they own and drive.

The husbandwho was very enthusiastic about the ease of driving the car still says its very easy to drive in peak traffic but has now started cribbing that it doesn’t give the rush and response as his car a manual transmission Wagon-R. He is back to driving his manual shift car.

The wife on the other hand is overjoyed at getting a car of her own that she can drive almost everywhere due to its compact size, good visibility and most of all she can concentrate on the road and on avoiding the many million maniacs driving alongside without any worry whatsoever about stalling the engine on starting or needing to worry about shifting up and shifting down and clutch modulation etc. Within a day of purchase she was happily driving through the railway subway near Loyola college coming from Nungambakkam towards Choolaimedu which has a pretty nasty upward slope ending at a stop light which 99% of the time will always be red forcing the motorists to wait on the upward slope.

Agony usually happens in new drivers who have to start off from a stop on a slope and usual mistakes while starting are rolling too far backwards and hitting the vehicles behind, cars in front rolling back and hitting your car or the most common one of stalling the engine and not being able to start back again. Honks from motorists behind the new driver will add to the stress. This crazy slope is now handled by this new driver with the automatic geared car where she only has to press the accelerator just enough to move up. Husband still has to sit with his eyes closed beside her but that’s better than having to watch the road, her and keep reminding her to shift up since the 1st gear alone cannot be used .

The wife who loves this car so much hasn’t driven manual transmission cars enough to appreciate the fine level of control – for such a driver the automatic makes a lot of sense and can be the best thing for them to drive. For drivers very experienced with squeezing out the most of mileage and power from their vehicles an automatic may not be very engaging to drive.

PS: One item I do not have but will update later is the actual fuel efficiency of the car. Hope to get it from the owners after they drive it for a bit.

Photos: From the Hyundai India I10 Website – since I didn’t have my proper camera with me and the ones with the phone camera suck

External Link:An old post on Cybersteering that has a round up of automatics available back then and with tips on how to drive with an automatic: http://www.cybersteering.com/cruise/feature/karma/auto.html

Auto Clutch review : http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/accessory-part-reviews/47407-autoclutch-review.html?highlight=hyundai+I10+automatic

Other I10 Auto Reviews: http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/test-drives-initial-ownership-reports/50519-another-automatic-house-i10-automatic.html

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/test-drives-initial-ownership-reports/56981-my-new-hyundai-i10-automatic.html

http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/test-drives-initial-ownership-reports/57765-yet-another-hyundai-i10-automatic-w-pics.html

Accident, Repairs, Ritz Test Drive & Recovery

Sushil — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 19:40:18 +0000

The title just about sums up the end of my past week and my weekend.

Accident: Last Thursday on the way back home from work was trying very hard to drive without getting bugged by the many jokers/morons/imbeciles on the road. I get no further than 5 km from office, when starting off from a signal, in my Swift get hit by another Swift ! I was in the center lane going straight, had a Tata Ace to my left and the Swift on my right.

The signal changes and I start off on the way ahead since there is no traffic ahead of me. Tata Ace also starts off to my left. There is some two wheeler in front of the Swift to my right, waiting to turn right so he cannot go straight ! What does the Swift joker do ? Turn left suddenly without checking whats moving on his left. I hear a the screech of metal on metal and though it didn’t sound too bad I knew my car was hit. Since there was a lot of traffic I had to take car to go straight put on my left indicator and try to move to the left. I see the Swift that hit me also come up and ahead of me and stop. I get out of my car to see that my car is scratched from the driver side door all the way down the rear passenger door till a little before the wheel arch :-(. Another point – the driver at the back has to take care not the one in front – our dude doesnt know all such rules. The location of the scratches is proof enough for me – from my driver door and backwards. I didnt even see the car to my left cutting into me since he was behind me and in my blind spot – but I was very clear – I was going straight and was in my lane.

Scratches on Swift. Me and the Swift at the service center.

The guy driving the other car has come to my car by then and guess what – he asks me why I didn’t check before turning in front of him ! I was pretty shocked and told him dude I was in the correct lane going straight and he was the one cutting lanes without looking. He just didn’t want to listen. Kept repeating that I turned in front of him and that he was in the right lane turning right and that I was turing right as well !

I go look at his car. Its hood and bonnet was covered with bird droppings and there were several dents and dings all over and the car looked like it hadnt been washed since the last rains. Its front number plate was bent in two places. It was very obvious he was not a careful driver and more obvious that he didn’t take much care of his car. His left mirror was folded in (probably busted already) and his bumper was hanging off its mounting brackets. The height of irritation for me was knowing that most of the dents on his car were not due to my car. Maximum there was a scratch on his bumper. I am willing to bet the bumper was already hanging loose !

I told him listen – your car has damage and so does mine – so what do you expect me to do ? I stood there quietly for a while and said nothing (fuming inside). The guy realised he is not getting any money out of me - he seemed more than happy to go away. I was bugged and furious that I took a photo of his number plate with my phone cam. I have the plate number with me. What good is it for – will mention it a bit later.

I sat in the car for a bit to let my BP and heart rate come down – then resumed my journey. Worst part was I was watching my speed before the hit while usually I have to admit I would have been speeding down that stretch ! The one day of all days I was going carefully.

Another 7 km later and within 2-3 km of where I stay I see the bird crap covered car. All that he told me earlier about wanting to turn right was all lies. The place he was going to was totally in the direction I was going. He was in the wrong lane at that signal and cut lanes at the last minute ! I get the damage to my car !

Anyways after spending a miserable evening at home, the next day I leave the car at home and take the train to work. I schedule a service appointment for my 20K service and also to get the paint touched up. I was supposed to do a service booking but had forgotten about it till the scratches reminded me.

Repairs:

Swift Odo at 20K

I was glad the service advisor wasn’t pushing me to get the whole door panels repainted and said that a touch up was enough. Luckily there was only minor denting and nothing too drastic. I mentioned the rattling sounds that were driving me nuts that came from the left passenger door and from the right driver door and from the hatch. No mechanical issues. Mileage I was getting was on par with what was expected of the petrol swift. Was getting around 11.5+ when they said around 12 was normal for city driving. I have 205 section tires so was expecting only that much.

One of my many buddies at the Service center offered to lookup the number plate of the Swift that hit me after he heard about the accidental damage - but I told him not to bother since there was nothing further I was going to do to him anyways. I can fantasize about it but reality is that I am no goonda and dont have time to go take panga with every moron on the road. :-(.

Yet another service advisor was intrigued and puzzled by the dog-bite mark damage on the front wheel arches. My car is being recognized as one with the bite marks by pretty much all the folks there !

Ritz VDI Diesel Test Drive:

While scheduling the service I had called up my favourite sales person at the dealership Mr. Jayavel who had sold me my Swift and asked to schedule a TD of the Ritz diesel. I was not able to TD it the last time I had visited there with my friend who was looking to buy a new car. Mr Jayavel knew I had no interest in buying a car but still ensured the car was there waiting for me. He even delayed a trip to a customer location to ensure I got my test drive – waiting for over one hour from the original time I had mentioned since I was stuck waiting for the service advisor to meet me and take my vehicle in for service. That’s what I call service from a sales person who knew from the beginning that he will not make a paisa from giving me a test drive but still took the pains to arrange one for me .

For that reason alone I am doing something I haven’t done so far – If you are in Chennai or know someone in Chennai looking to buy a car (specifically a Maruti) – please do give a call to Mr Jayavel at 9841727884 and mention you heard of his service from his old customer (me). He is part of the dealership team that is specific to handling corporate customers so be assured of professional service from him. Please note – I make no monetary benefit from mentioning his number or this – this is just my way of saying thanks ! (I refuse to mention which dealer – as I am not endorsing the dealer – please do not ask).

Ritz Diesel Experience: Only at the start was there some noise to indicate it was a diesel. After that it was super smooth and silent just like the Ritz Petrol. The clutch was as light as my own petrol Swift and the gears slotted in very very nicely with good feel just like the petrol Ritz. As I had mentioned in my comparison post the gear selector seemed better than the Swift. The steering was light and the car was easy to move through traffic. Just managed to drive it for 2-3 km as the sales person was needing to take it someplace to a customer’s home and was already late. I didn’t get a chance to check its pickup or braking since it was in traffic but just one time I was able to floor the accelerator , the car hesitated a very little bit before picking up speed at a very fast pace after 2000 RPM bringing a wide smile to my face. I really want a longer test drive. .

Recovery:

On Sunday managed to rest and recover from the shock the bill of the 20,000 Km service gave me. Around Rs 6800 was the total amount of which 250 was for mud flaps that were changed on my request since one of them was torn after having been hit by a biker. The scratches were mostly removed by polish but the deeper gashes had to be touched up by hand. This wasn’t done very well but hides the damage for now and I do not have to worry about rust. I didn’t realize that the 20K service was this costly. Will scan the bill and put up the detailed break up in a separate post. This is the highest ever I have paid for scheduled service so far in my 2+ years of ownership.

Which car is better – the Ritz or the Swift ?

Sushil — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 16:58:24 +0000

I test drove the Maruti Suzuki Ritz ZXI (Petrol) last weekend. I am comparing it to the Swift as I think customers will find it tough to decide between these two cars from Maruti.

Exteriors:

I like the front and the front 3 quarter view. Looks like a mature grown up Swift !
To get used to the rear I may have to start drinking something stronger than non-alcoholic beverages and quite a bit of it as well till my vision blurs. The rear doesn’t look too bad when the car has wider tires (like on the ZXI) and also when it is on the move. When stopped and up close it does look a oddish nice kind of strange.
The side view is interesting till the C pillar – then almost like the designers ran out of paper/screen space while making the drawing they stopped with a vertical line and ended the rear !
You will tire of hearing about the “boomerang” shaped tail lights from the dealer sales person very quickly. You would wish you had a real boomerang to fling at the sales guy. The tail lamps are pulled inwards and a strange window lineof the side windows is seen when viewed from the full straight rear position.
The exterior door handles, ORVMS are the same/very similar as the Swift. Rear bumper fog lamp looks similar.
The bonnet seems higher than the Swift. Good for gently tapping errant pedestrians and accounts for better pedestrian safety for sure.

Here is a side by side comparison of the Swift (my own car) and the Ritz exteriors.
Missing Attachment Missing Attachment Missing Attachment Missing Attachment Missing Attachment Missing Attachment
Interiors:

The seating position is a bit higher than in the Swift and seats feel the same. Almost like sitting on a cushion and driving the Swift.

The front quarter glass was a nice touch and helps a bit with visibility up front but there is still a huge blind spot at the A-pillar. Otherwise front visibility is good.

Visibility from the back will take some getting used to as the rear glass seems a bit small.

Rear wash/wipe & defogger only on the ZXI (just like the Swift).

The space saved by moving the gear lever in front isn’t used for anything.

The outside rear view mirrors are well placed, right sized and useful.

Lot of the interior is borrowed/shared with the Swift but still some cost cutting seems to have been there. Indicator/Wiper stalks, steering wheel, door locks & power window switches are all the same. Ashtray is the same. Gear lever knob is almost the same. Interior roof light seems the same.

The open glove box in addition to the closed one on the ZXI with the airbags is very useful – something the Swift ZXI doesn’t have and wastes space because of the airbags. The coin holder and storage space on the top of the dashboard is also good. Glove box seems similar in size to the Swift.

The front door pockets have storage space for bottles. There is only one central console mounted cup holder.

The steering mounted stereo controls are good but a bit annoying till u get used to them since they are in the spot the horn is on my car. Instead of honking I found myself increasing the stereo volume or muting the stereo without wanting to. The buttons seem a bit delicate and fiddly. More video game like than car like.

The increased head room allows 3 people to sit a lot more comfortably at the back than in a Swift. Legroom in the back was more than adequate. Feels more spacious than the Swift.

Luggage space was almost the same as the swift. If you want to carry a lot of luggage you should look at other vehicles possibly sedans. The 60:40 split is possibly the only saving grace of this car – I really wish the Swift had this.

The two tone dashboard was of a slightly vague light blue-grey color. I didn’t care for it too much. Matching colors to the exterior would have made sense but someone at Suzuki likes that weird color of blue.

The front under seat storage is a joke. Very small and without a lock. A newspaper and a magazine may just fit into it. If it were metal it could have been used to bake brownies – it was shaped like that.

Air conditioning seemed just about adequate (maybe the larger glass areas and lack of tints on the Demo car and the hot summer sun was a factor). I may have been spoilt by driving around with climate control and dark tinted small windows in the Swift. Blower fan gets noisy at “3″ position. The side vents close fully and are a design different from the Swift. The climate control is the only key feature missing on the Ritz that the Swift has.

Drive & Handling:

It took some time to get used to the gear shifter because it is positioned almost a half a foot ahead of the gear shifter in the Swift/most cars. The gear shifter felt really good and the shifts were very precise – even better than the Swift. For people with multiple cars this gear shift will be a difficult to get used to, especially when you have to switch cars daily. On the move the car is very silent and the engine barely lets you know it is on and running and at idle it was very silent. It did make some minimal noise when pushed but for it to move you have to push it past 3000 RPM. The older Swift engine would be screaming a nice song at 3K RPM.

Clutch, brake & accelerator pedals are the same as the Swift. Clutch is light and easy to use.

First gear seemed ok enough but the 2nd gear seemed a bit lethargic and the 3rd gear seemed pretty decent. I barely managed to get to 4th before I had to shift down because of traffic. By then the TD was over and we were back at the dealership.

The separate tachometer was a bit distracting in my view. Maybe since I am used to a tachometer next to the speedometer.

The ride was smooth and handled rough patches of road without too much noise and without losing balance. It didn’t feel top heavy like the Wagon-R does when taking turns at speed. The wider stance has to be thanked for it.

Visibility out front is very good and maneuvering the car in traffic is easy. Of course it is not an 800 but easy enough to drive.

Dealership/OEM Updates:

There seems to be sufficient interest in the car at the dealership and there was a steady stream of people coming to do test drives. Was almost knocked down by an 80 year old man and his wife who were rushing to TD the Ritz. This couple was doing the TD after finalizing the deal for buying the car !!!!! The people coming to TD the Ritz seem to primarily be ones who are married and have a family.

The dealer also mentioned that Maruti is forecasting long delays on all other vehicles other than the A-Star, Ritz and SX4 to make sure the sales of these continues. They are also trying as much as possible to not take bookings of any vehicle other than the above mentioned 3 cars. Even test drives of other vehicles are not being done ! I think this may backfire and cause people to defect to Hyundai , Tata and other manufacturers. Need to wait and see how well the Ritz is received and also if Hyundai and Tata sales go up because of Maruti.

Which one is better ?
There is no binary answer to this question. The Ritz is better than the Swift because of its fuel efficient, lighter, newer engine, interior space, features. The Swift is better than the Ritz for its looks, sporty responsive drive, slightly better trim level and features. Both seem to have their good features.

If you want a new car that does everything well, has seating space for 5 and will offend no one – take the Ritz.
If you have dreams of up-sized/wide alloys rims, low profile tires, spoilers, body kits, vinyl stickering and sports tuning then go for the Swift.

Test drive both and then just flip a coin and choose whichever one. You win with either of the two !

PS: Thanks to Senthil for the photos !

Driving in India

Sushil — Sun, 10 May 2009 15:07:57 +0000

: Image via Wikipedia

In my last post I listed the basic official rules for driving in India. Most of us drive like rules do not exist. Here is my take on why/how some people drive the way they do in India and why the official road rules are not followed. These are tied to the road rules from my previous post. Why the “Crank” picture ? Read on to find out.

Keep Left: Some motorists think they are in America since they “Keep Right” and hog the rightmost lane next to the median. Others are probably communist and therefore “Keep Left” and try to vehemently oppose any progress (passing) and want to involve labor unions before any passing even of vehicles is allowed. The undecided ones keep switching from Left to Right and back and forth or just drive in the middle of the two lanes – simple.

Turning Left: To turn into a road on the left, they stay close to the far right side of the road and make the turn only at the last minute. Making sure to cut across at least 2 lanes of traffic on a minimum. Reason : If 3 or more lanes of traffic are cut across, it makes them instant heroes in the eyes of the local pretty damsels (ugly betties actually). After turning, they check if they can scare motorists on that road for a few minutes by driving in their lane before going back to the left side of the road.

Turning Right: When turning onto a road on the right side, they first approach the left side of the road, stop, and wait till a stream of fast moving vehicles approach. Then they show off their daredevilry by cutting across the vehicles speeding towards them. If they didn’t die from being hit by then and the vehicle is still moving, they proceed to cut across the speeding vehicles on the other side of the road. Bonus points if this is done with eyes closed in front of an interstate transport bus.

Passing: If there is a need to pass traffic proceeding in the same direction, they always pass/overtake on whichever side has less space. Why ? Because the vehicle being passed would never think anyone would pass them there and therefore wouldn’t block the overtaking. Bonus points: Honking at the last minute when realization hits there isn’t enough space and scaring the driver of the vehicle being passed.

There is no ban on passing vehicles ever. Danger/inconvenience to others is never thought about. All that should be thought of is getting to the destination a whole 5 minutes earlier. If the driver behind has attempted to overtake – it means he is calling for a race. Allowing him to overtake is the equivalent of dishonouring favorite family deities. Proving that the vehicle being overtaken(usually grossly underpowered) is more than a match for the vehicle attempting to overtake(usually adequately powered) and also preventing this overtaking at any cost is mandatory. Life and limb of self and others being safe is not relevant – being able to boast of having “raced and beaten a larger and more powerful vehicle” is priceless.

The solid lines in the middle of the road mean nothing. Passing is to be done whenever felt like. Most usually after overtaking a vehicle at 80+ Kmph on hills and corners they may feel the need to slow down and stop at the left side of the road. Suddenly! To explain this watch the movie “Crank” with Jason Statham . He is injected with a mysterious toxin which will destroy his heart and the only antidote is adrenaline leading to some hard to believe sequences. I suspect these drivers have been injected with the same toxin and have to keep getting their heart rates as high as possible and then suddenly bring it back down again.

Right of Way: The vehicle that gets in front of traffic has the right of way. This is why all buffoons on small 25cc mopeds can cut across national highways and do a wiggle of the moped in front of high speed streams of cars and trucks. They are in front and therefore get the right of way. Every one else has to stop – they have brakes don’t they ?

Emergency Vehicles: Fire Service Vehicles and Ambulances are to be allowed free passage only to create space just large enough for a vehicle behind them. Everyone knows that driving close behind the ambulance or fire service vehicle will cut down their commute time. Only stupid people who “do not know how to prosper” move to the side and waste such golden opportunities like some poor sod needing to be taken to the hospital by ambulance since he/she is dying.

Pedestrians: Pedestrians at zebra crossings (and wherever they feel like crossing the road) play the roles of deer in a hunting game. The vehicle drivers are hunters and their aim is to spot a good pedestrian at 100 feet and aim for them with the vehicle. (Will Smith in “I am Legend” chases deer in a Mustang GT). Honking repeatedly increases the thrill. Speeds should be as high as the vehicle supports. The pedestrian plays the act of the “deer in headlamps” very well. They also perform classical dance steps that they know, in the middle of the road and demonstrate their deep cultural and artistic background including sublime facial expressions of horror , fear and disgust. Don’t worry it is all an act. The younger ones can put Ussain Bolt to shame the way they dance out of trouble. Older slower pedestrians usually have to be watched out for as they do not play this game well and end up getting hurt. It is not much fun scraping pedestrians off SUV tires and bumpers.

Required Signals: The hand signals to be used are mentioned in point 13 of the rules of the road. People with air conditioned cars cannot keep opening the windows to use the hand signs so they just do not bother to use their vehicle indicators. Very few people in non- air-conditioned vehicles actually have the hands to use the hand signs. Especially the Auto and bus drivers, these poor souls have to use other limbs to indicate their lane changes. Auto drivers without proper hands usually stick their legs out of whichever side they want to turn to. Sometimes the bus/truck drivers use their big toes pointing out of the bus windows to indicate their intention of turning. If they have fingers left on their hands, a few fingers may also be used to indicate their turning. This is usually done only at night so that people do not notice their disfigurement.

Indicators: Indicator lights can be smashed as soon as the vehicle is bought. This minimizes the need to use the indicators and the battery charge can be saved thereby extending the life of the battery. Pre-smashed indicator lights are a preferred dealer installed option package on large vehicles like buses and trucks and of course autos, and low budget two wheelers.

“U” Turns: “U” turns may be done whenever felt like. Doing so when explicitly prohibited by a sign adds a new heightened thrill to the act. When there is traffic or if it is safe to do so or not is irrelevant. If they felt like taking a “U” turn, they just do it. It’s all cool – they showed their little finger or big toe correct? Then it is a safe turn – why make such a fuss?

Parking: When parking the vehicle they first make sure that it does not cause any inconvenience for themselves or their family. Other road users can figure out for themselves. Basically the goal is to park as close to where they need to go regardless of whether it is the cause of a bottleneck in traffic or cause a traffic jam for everyone else.

Registration: Having vehicle number plates displayed is not advisable in India since the police could actually track people down for prior driving violations. Since it is not legal to drive without plates, make sure the plates rust in such a way that just the outline of the plates and something that looks like a number remains. This is the preferred option for cargo vehicles and trucks. If it is a fancy new vehicle with private plates the previous approach will not work. The nearest “rice writing” expert will be glad to write the registration number on a grain of rice in “Comic Sans MS or Times Roman” font and stick it onto a regulation number plate. Though costlier than the standard number plates this is a novelty plate and will make sure the vehicle stands out. The free magnifying glass provided by the rice writer will come in handy if there is a doubt while trying to locate the vehicle in a parking lot since this is getting really popular.

One Way Roads: On “One Way” roads, if travel is required in the direction indicated on the road signs then things are cool. If the direction of travel is in the opposite direction then either drive in reverse or just drive on the edge of the road – people are cool they will understand the driver is a cool dude who cannot be bothered to drive around half the city because of some stupid one way sign. Just show the peace sign while doing so re-affirms coolness.

Driving in reverse: Ever since Tyrese Gibson acting as Roman Pearce drove in reverse in “2 Fast 2 Furious” every driver in Chennai has had a secret wish to drive in reverse. They do this every chance they get. Especially on divided highways where the spot for the “U” turn is over 10 feet in the wrong direction our local “Romans” drive in reverse to save a few drops of fuel and therefore save money and the environment. This skill in driving in reverse can also be used for “One Way” streets.

Stop Lines: Those white lines perpendicular to the flow of traffic are markings on the roads to indicate the starting point for races with other vehicles. The races are typically multi-segment races all on the same road, I mean track where cars, bikes, cycles, trucks buses can participate. The race starts when the “race” signal lights counting downwards flash “3-2-1-GO” just like in F1, NASCAR etc. The objective of the race is to reach the next starting point capturing a good pole position. Each and every junction can start a race and our drivers live life “a quarter mile at a time”. Vin Diesel would be so proud if he only knew. Vehicles who have missed a favorable pole position indicate their frustration at a poor starting point by honking at those with a better pole position. Just like the 3^rd installment of Fast & Furious featured drift races in Tokyo, Fast & Furious 5 will definitely be based in India and will feature these races.

Noise: Drivers have to keep sounding the horn as that is the only way their safety is assured as their brakes do not work. If someone is honking continuously please – understand they will not be able to avoid an accident unless given way to pass. There are no “no-honking zones” since it is not safe to drive without honking. Sick dudes/dudettes in hospitals should go away to remote villages or the mountains if they want peace and quiet. What will happen to them because of a million honks? They will wake up? Or die? Bah – humbug this whole silence thing is overrated!

Loud exhausts are usually due to mufflers rusting away to create the loud sounds. This is another safety feature as it minimizes the need to keep honking. I wonder why people make such a fuss about loud exhausts. Only stupid people go pay money to get their exhausts louder and claim to have “tuned” their cars when all that is required is to encourage the natural rusting process. If rusting is not a natural process, people in such cities can resort to poking nice wide holes in the muffler or removing them altogether. It “adds” horsepower and lots of it and actually more of bull excrement than horse power.

Traffic Lights & Signs: Obey the traffic signal lights when there are traffic policemen or designated /authorized people present and checking is going on. Otherwise the lights are there to add some color to otherwise boring roads and to kick off races. The amber light is not required at all – removing that from signals across the country would save a lot of power for India. The reds and greens are interchangeable after the cops go home till the time they get back on the beat.

Following Distance: As long as the front bumper has a hairs width gap from the rear bumper of the vehicle in front it is a sufficient gap. If the vehicle in front stops suddenly, the best approach is to loudly and repeatedly accuse the driver of the vehicle in front of “putting sudden brake”. The person who was driving in front becomes at fault when those magic words are spoken.

Loading: Vehicles should be loaded as much as possible in all possible directions and as long as the vehicle can still move it is fine. Protruding objects like sharp iron rods can be marked by one tiny red hankie or if not found a tiny white polythene cover should do just fine. The sky is really the limit for vertical stacking. Two to three feet to the sides can also be used for loads. All those crazy people who build flyovers and run low cable/telephone wires across the streets need to get their heads examined. Why are they obstructing the free flow of load bearing vehicles just trying to make a living ?

Documents to be carried/ produced on demand: The person driving the vehicle is to always carry just one form of documentation in the form of sufficient amounts of cash in denominations of 10s, 20s, 50s and 100s. As long as this is present no other vehicle documents are required. When these documents are demanded by any Police officer in Uniform, Officers of the Motor Vehicles Department in Uniform or by any officer authorized by the Government, the driver has to start low and start handing out 10s, then 20s etc till such time the thirst of the person demanding the documents is satisfied. The higher the rank of the person demanding the document requires a paper with a higher number written on it to start.

Request: Please do NOT follow these driving practices as this is NOT the way to drive. If you drive this way please do NOT drive a vehicle and just take public transport or do not leave your home until you learn the official rules and really Drive Safe!